Victor & Cora on
Sexual Ethics & Feri Initiation

We are a sex positive tradition, but you must know the heart of the one you approach. No one must ever be approached with force or poor intent. ~ Victor Anderson, 2001

Victor Anderson, from a conversation with SoulFire, transcribed 9/7/1998:

We do not consider sex an “aspect” of something. It’s not just important because it’s something on the side; it’s just what it is. And it is not unlawful to have sex to initiate somebody. But it must be that person’s choice. If you don’t have love for that person, and they don’t have love for you, what’s the use?

Yes, we do initiate that way. It’s no different and no more shameful than for people to be sexually active before they get married. But they must be with the right person, and a right time, and a right place for a relationship. We do not throw ourselves around like that.

It’s no different than say, if you go to live with somebody, and you mate with them and you unite with them in that way. But if you are doing this for another purpose and you already have a lover or if you wish to wait, we have the Intentions of the Heart. Because that’s what counts. This is one thing that I wish I could make clear to people.

Of course, it is always sad when a person cannot be initiated by Full Rite, but there are so many reasons why. Full rite initiation has to be an act of love just as if you’re marrying somebody or going with them. It’s got to be somebody you care enough about. And if they are not willing to be initiated in that way, we have a ceremony called the Intentions of the Heart.

[A description of the ceremony follows, but is not being made public.]

Cora Anderson, from Fifty Years in the Feri Tradition:

The Craft as we know it has a code of honor and sexual morality that is as tough and demanding as the Bushido of Japan and of Shinto, which it strongly resembles and in many important ways is identical. This code is in no way puritanical, ascetic or anti-sexual. Unlike some bastardized forms of modern Wicca, we do not behave like a bunch of slavering mad dogs in heat… We strictly honor each other’s bonds and commitments … Sex is not a doorway leading to something else, nor is it a metaphor for so-called spiritual love, but a sun- and moon-lit path leading across the sea of life to an infinite horizon….

In Initiation, you literally marry the Goddess, her dual consort and the Gods, whether you are male or female... Always remember that the person you love as life companion or in passing is your son, brother and lover, and should be treated with love and respect as yourself and other half.

Excerpt above copyright © 1994 by Cora Anderson. All rights reserved.

Note: Sex with your initiator or teacher should NEVER be a requirement for Feri initiation (or training).